“And the world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles, no matter how long, but only by a spiritual journey, a journey of one inch, very arduous and humbling and joyful, by which we arrive at the ground at our feet and learn to be at home.”
-Wendell Berry
The quote above by Wendell Berry nicely summarizes my nearly two years at Project Mexico.
Before I joined the ministry, I had undeniably taken “a journey of miles,” where I felt as if God had been guiding me away from my plans and asking me to wait as His plans unfolded. This spurred me on my “journey of miles” all over the country for a period of almost two years, searching for somewhere that felt like home, searching for peace, searching for an increased sense of God’s presence. It wasn’t until the pandemic hit and I was invited back to Project Mexico that I began to understand that I needed to turn inward in my journey.
The year before I was a Homebuilding intern but my return in summer 2020 impacted me very differently. I grew much closer to the boys at the orphanage and began to feel an internal shift. Whatever had been propelling me during that “journey of miles” faded into the background. There was no single moment of revelation when I knew that I wanted to stay and work at the orphanage. I had no conspicuous thought of “this is where God wants me to be.” Simply, He opened the door and I walked through it. Or instead, stumbled backward into it, would be a more accurate evocation.
In the time I’ve spent with the ministry, I have learned many things. The majority of those lessons have arisen from various challenges that ranged from diverting to taxing in nature
and every single one of those lessons feels significant. Perhaps the most significant of those lessons is I have learned that I do not need to desperately search for that perfect place where I have a perfect purpose. I do not need to go that journey of miles.
Instead, I take the inward journey towards Christ. It is there that I meet Him. I meet Him in every aspect of my life, my beautiful and wild daily life, rich with blessings. I meet Him in the hearts of our boys. I meet Him in the hearts of my co-workers and community. I meet Him in the dust and the downpour, in the depths of human suffering and the abundance of joy.
Mother Maria of Paris said “ 'Love one another,' so long as it is love to the end and without exceptions. And then the whole of life is illumined, which is otherwise an abomination and a burden.” The Love I discovered in my time at Project Mexico illumined my life in a way never before known to me. It is the force that brings me to the ground at my feet. To learn what it means to be present on that ground with Christ in each moment is a journey that I will be on for the rest of my life. A journey I am thankful to have started.
For more from Faeli please check out our Stories of Hope Podcast!